Try staying up twenty four hours and still retaining some degree of intellect without any external aid- no coffee, no Red Bull, no anything. Not so easy, is it? Kudos to anyone who can do it, but for the rest of the normal world, any caffeinated item is essential for pulling an all-nighter. Though caffeine may keep you up long enough to see the break of dawn twice in a row, it ain’t gonna make you focus any better. Generation Y’s obsession with the fear of failure (more specifically, academic failure) is causing an increasing trend in the need for one be-all-end-all solution to their waning attention spans: Adderall. And whether it’s legally prescribed or not, it seems to be working.

Adderall is not a recent phenomenon. Though many believe wonder drugs such as Adderall and Ritalin, used to treat ADD and ADHD, have sprung up on the market in the last ten to fifteen years, the reality is that the same basic chemical compounds behind these drugs have been used to treat the same disorders since the 1950s. As class II controlled substances, drugs such as Adderall and Ritalin are the second most controlled substances in the US, ranking just below heroin and cocaine. Despite this rigid classification, ADHD medications have seen a 369 percent increase from 1992 to 2002 and in 2005 an estimated 31.8 million people were prescribed such medications, the majority being Adderall.

Even way back in the Stone Age our parents were using study buddies. These pesky little pills may not have been called Adderall, but they had the same effects. Dexedrine (also known as dextroamphetamine), an appetite suppressant which reached its height of popularity in the 1970s, was a pill designed to suppress one’s appetite and increase weight loss, but its side effects were discovered to encompass far more than that. The substance’s side effects included a heightened state of alertness and concentration lasting up to eight hours (a far longer time than caffeine), as my father and pharmacist, Max Fowler described. In his own personal experience, he claims the pill was available without a prescription and was largely popular among students for both studying and dieting during his time in pharmacy school in the mid-1970s. Dexedrine, however, was in widespread use far earlier than the 1970s, and was commonly used by both the Allied and Axis soldiers during WWII to keep them alert (Hitler himself was even thought to be an avid user). Presently, Dexedrine is still distributed to soldiers, military pilots and truck drivers in order to prolong alertness. However, Fowler said that Dexedrine and Adderall, like any other amphetamine, cause increased tolerance with prolonged use which often paves the way for dependence and addiction.

Adderall is an amphetamine and a very close cousin of Dexedrine. Both increase energy, improve performance on tasks, suppress appetite and the need for sleep, elevate mood, and are targeted toward patients who have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. The effects of medications used to treat these people often work on those not officially diagnosed with ADHD. It may seem like the nectar of the study gods, but Adderall still has its risks ranging from a dangerously high heart rate, a loss of appetite, nausea, and most importantly, addiction.

Despite all of these warnings, just how many people have died from Adderall usage? Between 1999 and 2003 twelve cases of Adderall related deaths have been reported. And here’s the real kicker, five of the victims had previous heart defects. Canada has even gone so far as to ban Adderall, despite the fact that Canucks are much, much more likely to be killed in a car collision with a moose. So don’t fret, as long as you’ve been eating your heart-healthy Cheerios and your family lineage doesn’t have a history of taking vacations to the Betty Ford Center, using Adderall probably won’t land you a six foot trip into the ground.

Adderall, as The Georgetown Independent describes, has become a crutch for students who believe that without it, they won’t be able to cope with the stress and pressure the school’s rigorous curriculum demands. Rather than de-stressing through natural means such as exercise, they are increasingly turning to Adderall. The Alliance for Human Resources Protection conducted a survey that predicted up to 25 percent of students at 119 campuses had misused ADHD medications within one year.

Junior Danny Gonzalez, a longtime friend of mine at Georgetown University, told me how his friends throw “Adderall Parties” where they get together to study after downing Adderall and coffee. “Hey, at least Adderall made them productive, you know? It didn’t make them do anything stupid, they just got all of their work done,” he said.

Danny’s roommate has an entire prescription for Adderall, so why, if so many people around him are experimenting with it, hasn’t he tried it? “I don’t want to get addicted. It’s like whenever I sit down to study I drink a Mr. Pibb every time. I don’t want to sit down and feel that same need to take an Adderall. Plus, I can work just fine without it.” Wondering why he wouldn’t want to know what it’s like to be on Adderall (considering all of his friends have tried it), he explained, “I don’t need Adderall to help me study, so I’d only be doing it for a buzz. I’d rather do cocaine.”

As much as this comment made me want to immediately fly to Washington D.C. to slap him, he had unintentionally brought up an interesting point. Pills such as Adderall or Ritalin (Ritalin is also a current medication used to treat ADHD which is abused commonly among college students) if abused enough, are often a gateway drug to other substances like coke or speed, as Prozac Nation author Elizabeth Wurtzel, describes.

“It’s [Ritalin] so damn abusable,” she says. “I think it’s hard to resist abusing it, particularly when you’re in high school and college…I switched from snorting Ritalin to snorting cocaine seamlessly. Not too many people would give their children cocaine pills but they give their children Ritalin pills.”

William Kohler, Medical Director at the Florida Sleep Institute, believes that ADHD medications are indeed over-prescribed. Why? He believes that a lack of sleep is the root cause behind misdiagnoses. Because restlessness and lack of attention are the major signs of both ADHD and sleeplessness, the two are often being confused. So why then, does Adderall still produce so much success among patients?

University of Texas sophomore William Osorio believes that Adderall could have a placebo effect, making improvements in focus appear to be a result of the medication itself, and not one’s own determination, causing a purely mental addiction. Shelly Chennault, a student at the University of Oklahoma, occasionally uses Adderall, although she doesn’t have ADHD. When I asked why she takes it she said, “Because it works. Even if it’s all in my head, when I take it I feel like I’m more productive. I don’t think it matters if I’m ADHD or not for it to work. Why else would so many other students take it?”

William also described why he uses Adderall, “Studying and doing my homework isn’t as big of a pain in the ass when I take it. It’s actually kind of interesting and it’s like I want to finish it. Instead of freaking out that I won’t finish a project or something in the next six hours, Adderall makes me feel like I can, and I always do finish whatever when I’m on it.”

I won’t lie. I know firsthand about what Adderall feels like. And I also know that if I had an Adderall right now, then I probably would have finished this paper in 2.5 hours flat. And enjoyed doing it. I wouldn’t be fiddling around on Facebook every thirty minutes nor would I have felt the need to stop midway through writing this to see if Sweet P got the boot on Project Runway. But there is no need for me to be on Adderall to write this paper. I have time and I have just enough willpower to crank this sucker out before the deadline. Of the four times I’ve used it, it was on the night before a double-tester. And it’s not just me. Of the college students I talked to all said they do not take Adderall habitually, they only take it when time is crunched- when they have a project, two tests, and a paper to finish by Thursday morning, or most importantly, during finals.

I’m actually quite ambivalent toward Adderall use among college students. Let them eat cake. It’s a hard knock for college kids these days and Daddy Warbucks ain’t gonna foster them when they fail to land a job because of their 3.9 GPA. ADHD or not, Adderall seems to leave most users satisfied with its results and legal or not, people are going to use it. When they do, they’re going to be chock-full of focus, even if it may include staring at a spot on the wall for hours. But tell me, where’s the harm in that?

Study drugs will be here to stay so long as students are under the impression that grades will make or break their entire life. Adderall shouldn’t be the solution to succeeding in school, but it’s undeniable that it certainly helps. So here’s looking to you kid- do what you must in order to not be a miserable failure. I mean let’s be realistic, if your GPA is below a 3.9 then you’ll probably be spending the next ten years flipping processed food at a joint riddled with health violations. At that rate, you might as well immolate yourself like that girl at Harvard. So if you love the effects of your study buddy, then take it at your own risk- just know that you may end up in a straight jacket sitting next to Danny Bonaduce or Pete Doherty. It’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. If you use Adderall, don’t be stupid, know when to stop. Rehab is expensive. You have the power to rise above the influence and just say no because maybe, by some stroke of God, those “Truth” commercials really spoke to you. But even if they did speak to you, you’ll want to throw those morals out of the window come finals week anyway. Last but not least kids, watch out for moose- they just might kill you before the Adderall does.

Jenny Shackleton’s bags were packed. She was ready to go. The only thing was, she planned on leaving behind a lucrative post-graduation job at a prestigious advertising firm in Austin for the uncharted career waters of L.A. She, unlike so many recent graduates, felt it necessary to leave the safety of her familiar university niche over the past four years for a very tumultuous, uncertain future. Some may call it youthful naiveté. Others may say such a risk was just plain crazy. She, a University of Texas grad from the class of ’09, however, simply flashes a million dollar smile towards those naysayers, explaining that while moving to a foreign city is both terrifying and perhaps short-sighted, her early 20s is the ideal time to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming an actress.

“No other time in your life is more opportune to move somewhere crazy than after college,” Jenny exclaimed. “If I didn’t give acting a shot now, then I knew I never would.”

Such logic seems inarguable. Without a family or children to bind post-college graduates to a particular place, at no other age can one be invigorated by such reckless, doe-eyed abandon. So why aren’t today’s slew of matriculated seniors scattering about the globe, throwing all caution to the wind and chomping down at the bit to pursue their lifelong dreams as so many in the past have? Unquestionably, it is because fear and doubt due to the shrinking job market have become ever-pressing factors which are weighing more and more heavily upon graduates’ future decisions.

In fact, Franklin Roosevelt’s “Fear itself” speech appears to be the new “it” thing among college graduation ceremonies this year, as it is what Baz Luhrmann’s, “Always Wear Sunscreen” speech was to the post-grad class of 1999 twelve years ago. But its tune is remarkably stark and bleak compared to the positivism of “Always Wear Sunscreen’s” ultimate message. It suggests that fear and reluctance are an ever-increasing theme among today’s elite pupils. So what, then, can explain the sudden shift away from the message of recklessly chasing after one’s lifelong dreams to a message of gaining courage to face the unknown? And why does there seem to be such a preponderance of negativity among today’s graduates over their suddenly uncertain future?

Whereas five to ten years ago post-graduate students emerged from their comfortable cocoon of booze, all-nighters, and frequent sexual health clinic visits into a world full of prosperous and plentiful job opportunities, today’s generation faces a much more dire situation. That plethora of promising jobs which was so readily available to graduates during the nineties is no longer in the same abundance as it once was. In fact, the Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that the amount of college graduates has risen by nearly 50% over the last two decades, meaning there is more competition for less jobs. Of course, it goes without mention that the difficulty of ascertaining a particular job varies by one’s degree, major, and overall willingness to work a grunt job. But shall it too be said that today’s graduates are merely too frightened to advance their way up the white collar hierarchy?

Whereas graduates may have gleefully traveled across the country to relocate to a new city ten years ago, they now find themselves increasingly moving to the one place they vowed never to live again: home. Newly furbished urban lofts have now been replaced by childhood bedrooms whose walls remain painted that same ill-fated shade of Barney purple. No longer is Generation Y defined by its reckless ambition for the future; instead it has become a generation of reclusive doubt- a generation which has grown more accustomed to blatant pessimism than abject optimism. Is this simply the result of a diminishing job market or should it be attributed to something greater? Exactly why, pray tell, do so many graduates appear to be moving closer to home during the one time in their life it pays most to take big career risks? And it’s not just some illusion- college graduates are moving back home in increasing numbers. A survey of 2009’s graduates revealed that nearly 80% moved back into mom and dad’s house after receiving their diploma. That’s up nearly 17% from those moochers from the class of 2006 (Anderson).

Recent graduates such as Kara Orms, who received her diploma this May from Texas A&M, plan to make the move back home to live with family again. When asked why, she simply shrugged and said, “Moving back home gives me a sense of comfort because I had doubts I would be able to find a job that paid enough to support myself. I was glad I had a fallback home, even it was with my mom.”

It seems as though twenty-first century graduates are faced with much different challenges than those of years’ past. No longer do they have a wide variety of job offers to choose from. No longer is job security guaranteed and no longer do many have the luxury of picking and choosing where to live. For most of those with fresh university degrees, unless job security is promised, the fear of taking a risk in a foreign city hales in comparison to the familiar comforts of home.

“I haven’t started living with my mom again yet, but I’m actually not dreading it that much,” Orms commented. “I mean, free dinners, no bills, no rent? Sounds good to me.”

For Jenny Shackleton, however, that giant leap of faith into the unknown abyss of a dismal job market has not deterred her yet. Stalwart in her determination, she casually flips her glowing blonde locks to the side and says, “I’d rather die knowing I failed at pursuing acting here in LA than die not knowing the things which could have been.”

Her optimism is contagious to all those present in the room.

“Plus, who says I’m going to fail anyways?”

Did you know that there's over 4 times as many studies over men have difficulty getting an erection than there are about women with PMDD who have a 25% chance of attempting suicide? I'm not sure how many men have died over a flaccid penis, but, there's probably at least one dude out there who's won a Darwin Award trying to get hard with a Teddy Ruxpin doll and an electrical socket.

I know us gals have a reputation amongst men for being difficult, but did you know that men actually thought we were so difficult, that they refused to use us in any major medical studies at all? Keto diet? Great for men. However, you'll have to go balls deep into the Googs to find the studies that show it's actually not the best diet for women since our menstrual cycle requires us to consume more carbs. More specifically, copious amounts of chocolate while cry-watching "The Time Traveler's Wife." Scientific fact, folks.

It wasn't until 1986 when someone said, "Hey, the angry feminists have been complaining a lot. I think we should maybe get them to stop nagging by putting them into some studies.”

“We’re gonna need more ammo than that, Frank!”

“I dunno, didn’t we already give ‘em the right not have to have to have a man sign for their credit card accounts in ‘74? Maybe we could make sexual harassment in the workplace illegal?”

“Feels too soon, Frank.”

So now sometimes you do invite us to your studies, unless Old Aunt Flo comes into town and you don't have room at the guest house for her. All of that PMSing will throw your medical paper into chaos with her outliers. Chaos!

Here's a shocker for graduates of the Texas education system: period blood comes in all shapes in sizes. We've got marmalade clots, we've got brown blood, we've got clear sticky discharge, and we've got your Halloween blood. No one asks us about our periods or tells us that this is normal (except for you Googs, except for you). Periods make our male doctors blush, so we keep the discourse cordial because how our period behaves can't possibly have anything to do with our health. In fact, we don't usually discover the function of our clitoris until college because everyone's too afraid to tell us about how our own bodies work. But we do get prescribed birth control at age 12 to cure our acne and end up with a post dedicated to us on /r/DeadBedrooms 20 years later. On the bright side though, at least we have porn to show us how to fake an orgasm until that self-awakening comes. But not literally. We never cum in that shit. Squirting? Yeah-- SPOILER ALERT-- they're usually water balloons we shove up there so you can believe that the male actor has solved the riddle of the Sphinx or something.

And every time we have sex-- Every. Single. Time. We have sex, we have to worry about getting pregnant. We were never taught anything about how you can only get pregnant in the week during ovulation, so we just assume we can get pregnant all of the time. And if we allow ourselves to get caught up in one moment of passion? If we get drunk and have sex and the exact details are a litte murky? If we leave that responsibility up to you? Well, then we are definitely going to be pregnant because ya'll can't even remember to flush your piss down the toilet most of the time. There is zero margin of error for us. Always. Statistical margins for you, dear men, may vary.

The gender gap when it comes to women's reproductive medical care and education was woefully inadequate long before Roe v. Wade was overturned. It's not an issue of your moral beliefs on whether fertilization of an egg constitutes as life or not. It's an issue of how much you care to value the life that is already at hand. Life cannot provide for a better life if it's not tended to as well.

And it's really that simple. Womens lives matter. Black lives matter. LGBTQ+ lives matter. Christian lives matter. All life matters.

And as much as millenial me wants to use this opportunity to quote the great Dr. Ian Malcolm proclaiming, "Life will find a way," I'll leave you with a quote from this research paper instead:

"We find that in nearly three-quarters of the cases where a disease afflicts primarily one gender, the funding pattern favors males, in that either the disease affects more women and is underfunded (with respect to burden), or the disease affects more men and is overfunded. Moreover, the disparity between actual funding and that which is commensurate with burden is nearly twice as large for diseases that favor males versus those that favor females.”